Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Que Sera Sarah?

I'm going into my third month of pre-graduation freak out. I'm told my symptoms are not serious, actually quite common to the contemporary graduating 20 something. Stoked to be out of the classroom for the first springtime since I was knee high, I plan adventures to Walden and coffee cafe mornings and mostly I plan to read every book in the young adult section of the Newton Library. I plan to pick back up with the Spanish literature, learn sign language, and become the best Italian cook this side in my entire UK based family. I get inspired by Annie Dillard and Henry David Thoreau. I get inspired by people who are inspired by nature. But then I think about stepping outside and its cold and drafty and dark and I think, how can I "go to the woods" in freakin Boston? But of course living in Boston actually requires quite a lot of money and I'm certain to find myself working full time and post-poning my adventures until- when? Scary.
And then inevitably, my thoughts return to my "professional" life. It used to be that an undergraduate degree set you for a career but then again, it used to be that women studied home making, nursing, secretary"ism"?, education, etc... and I unfortunately have chosen to study "reading." I feel so much pressure to go on to graduate school! To choose right here, right now, whether to pursue academia further or to choose a career and Get Going. My thoughts of the past weeks have been: speech pathology, linguistics MA, deaf education, secondary education, English MA, writing in the woods of Seattle (!), and for a brief 3 minutes following a compliment to my long fingers, surgery!
I'm looking for a sign...